Vulture Tailgating

 

A message from the West Virginia Tourist Council.

Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when Easterners and native Californians enter West Virginia, our Tourism Council has adopted a new policy. In an effort to help outsiders understand the rural West Virginian's mind, the following list will be handed to each person with out-of-state tags as > they enter the State.


  1. Interstate 64 goes two ways. Interstate 79 goes the other two. Pick one and use it accordingly. (My favorite)

  2. It's called a 'gravel road.' No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. I have a four-wheel drive because I need it.

  3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were five years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.

  4. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead fish breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13-inch trout you fish for...bait.

  5. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

  6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their > final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

  7. That's right. Whiskey is only $2.50 a drink. We can buy a fifth at the Big Bear or Kroger grocery store for what you paid in the airport for one drink.

  8. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare.
    Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.

  9. Yeah, in restaurants, you get sweet tea by default. It comes in a glass with a half-inch of sugar
    in the bottom and a long spoon. If you don't want sweet tea, say you want "unsweet tea".

  10. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

  11. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.

  12. Yeah, we eat catfish, carp, too, and turtle. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.

  13. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.

  14. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Understand the concept?

  15. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish.

 

Please enjoy your visit to West Virginia!!